It has been such a challenging week. First I was not feeling well. After God supernaturally healed my dysmenorrhea which I very seldom experienced (the pain), He also spoke to me regarding the physical pain the Christ needed to suffer and so we must also be ready to suffer physical pain (1 Peter 4:1) I immediately repented from self-pity and claimed healing in His name and it came almost immediately! The pain was gone!
Then, I was down with flu and fever. Hubby was away for the week so it was quite hard for me to be on my own. I started to feel alone again. As this is the first time we were separated since we are married, I believe God is teaching me to be completely and utterly dependant on Him and not on men. I learned to rely on His strength, His presence and His comfort. I remembered before I was married, the Lord was my sole companion at all times. I was comfortably on my own and enjoying my life with Him. After getting married, I always made sure that He is still my First love regardless of my love for my husband. He graciously taught me that it was glorifying to Him to love my husband whole-heartedly, to love him as He loves him and still love the Lord the same. I learned to be secured in my relationship with Him, that I would not put anything above the Lord.
However, I guess there will be times when this will be tested. I need to make sure that I am still completely and utterly dependant on Him alone and no mortal men, including my husband because it can be easy to lean on someone I can see and touch and hold. It was a refreshing time in His presence, time alone with Him, to talk to Him and to listen from Him.
Then on Friday, I encountered some challenges at work and caused me to be quite emotional and tearful. I wanted to be stronger at times but all I could do was just to let those tears out. I did not realise that when hubby came back on the same day, he was encountering some challenges at work too and he too was a little down. So both of us comforted and encouraged each other. It was not easy but we believe that the Lord has helped us through and strengthened us both individually and and as a couple. He is just so so so awesome.
I do not know where I will be without You, O Lord. I just don't know and I don't want to imagine. Even though life may still be challenging, it is just so comforting to know that You are for me and that You love me, You will never leave me nor forsake me. I want to continue to serve You and to bring glory to You, to enjoy my relationship with You.
Thank You, Jesus. You are always my first Love and in times of difficulties, help me to still choose to praise Your Holy Name!!!
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